2012年12月3日 星期一

幾個英語小笑話

. 2012年12月3日 星期一

Behavioral research discloses that human relations at work are just easier, perhaps because they are more regular and predictable and thus simpler to adjust to than the sporadic, the more intense and less regular relationship in the community. (R.Sayles Leonard, British writer)
行為科學研究提示,工作中人與人之間較好相處。這或許是因為工作上的人際關係較有規律,而在社會上,人與人之間的關係是斷斷續續的,比較緊張,而且也較少有規律可循。(英國作家 倫納德.R.S.)

Don't gild the lily. (William Shakespeare, British dramatist)
不要給百合花鍍金/畫蛇添足。(英國劇作家 莎士比亞.W.)


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  1、Keys to Success
成功的關鍵

One day a father was teaching his son and said, "The keys to your success are keeping your word and cleverness. Once you give somebody a promise, you must carry it out on matter what will happen. This is called 'keeping one's words.'
"What is cleverness?" asked his son.
"Cleverness is that you'll never make such a promise, " the father answered.

一天,父親教育兒子說:“一個人成功的關鍵就是嚴守諾言和足夠聰明。一旦你給了別人承諾,無論發生什麼事,你都得實現它,這個就叫‘守諾言’。”

兒子問:“那麼什麼是聰明呢?”
父親回答:“聰明就是任何時候都別做這樣的承諾。”
 

2、Shave head
    刮頭
Recently, a man walked into my barbershop asking how much for a haircut. "Eight dollars," I answered. "And for a shave?" "Five dollars." "All right," he said, settling into the barber chair. "Shave my head."
前些日子,有一男的來到我的理髮店,問剪一個頭要多少錢。
“八美元,”我告訴他。
“那,刮次鬍子呢?”
“五美元”。
“那行”,那男的邊說邊坐到了理髮椅上,“來,給我刮刮頭吧”。


3、Speeding
超速

  Traveling salesmen make their living visiting as many customers as possible. So speeding to get from one appointment to the next is not unheard-of. Which is how I got pulled over by a highway patrolman. "Don't you ever look at the speedometer?" the officer scolded. Before I knew it, the truth spilled from my mouth. "As fast as I was going," I admitted, "I was afraid to take my eyes off the road."
    因為旅行推銷員為了謀生需要拜訪儘量多的客戶,所以超速飛車趕場對於他們來說也不是沒有過的事情。 有一次我就因為超速度行駛被一個公路巡警攔了下來。“你有沒有看過你的時速表?”那名警官責問。當我的回答一齣口,我立刻後悔了,但已經太晚了。“車開得越來越快”,我如實地說,“我的眼睛得一直盯著前面,沒敢看別的”。


4、How could anyone stoop so low?
哪有人能彎腰彎那麼低的啊?

  Our manager at the restaurant where I worked was a much beloved, jovial man. But there was one subject you didn't dare discuss in front of him -- his height. Or, should I say, his lack of it. One day, he stormed through the door and announced angrily, "Someone just picked my pocket!" Most of my fellow waitresses and I were speechless, except for the one who blurted out, "How could anyone stoop so low?"
  我們的餐廳經理是一位深受大家愛戴,和藹而又快樂的人。但在他面前有一件事不能提--他的身高。 或者,我應該說,他是有點矮!一天,經理怒氣沖衝地撞門而入,高聲說,

  “有人拿了我的錢包!”

  我和其她大部女招待都沒敢吱聲,但有人卻蹦出一句話:

  “哪有人能彎腰彎那麼低的啊”!

5、Stop for the Red Light
  紅燈,停

  

  I had just pulled over someone for driving under the influence when another car pulled up behind us. I stopped what I was doing and ventured back to see if the driver needed assistance. "No, I don't need any help," he said, reeking of booze. Then, pointing to the flashing cherry top on the roof of my cruiser, he continued, "I just stopped for the red light."

  我剛剛把一個酒後駕駛司機的車攔了下來,一輛車就緊跟著停了我的車後面。我停下手上的工作,徑直走到後面的車那裏,看看那位司機是否需要幫助。“我沒事,我不需要什麼幫助”,他滿嘴酒氣地說。接著,他指著我警車頂上那閃著的紅色警燈,說,“看到紅燈,所以我停下來了”

6、Reached Shore Fast
 快速靠岸

  A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday." A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location." "I-75, two miles south of Standish." After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"

  在休倫湖釣完魚後,我的一個朋友開車拖著他的船回家。路上車壞了。他沒帶手機,不過,他想,也許他可以通過海事無線廣播來請求公路援助。於是,他爬到他的船裏面,啟動了無線裝置,喊道,“求救,求救”。一名海岸護衛隊警官作出了回應,“報告你的位置”。“I-75號公路,Standish的南面兩英里”。沉默了好一會之後,警官問我的朋友,“你的船靠岸時開得有多快?”

一件事如果值得做好,就值得去做。(英國歷史學 愛卡萊爾.T.)

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