2016年9月14日 星期三

經典英語笑話

. 2016年9月14日 星期三

1.When Was Rome Built? 羅馬是什麼時候建成的?
    Teacher: When was Rome built?
  Tom: At night.
    Teacher: Who told you that?
  Tom: You did. You said Rome wasn't built in a day.
  老師:羅馬是什麼時候建成的?
  湯姆:在夜裡建成的。
  老師:誰告訴你的?
  湯姆:是您啊。您說過羅馬不是在一個白天建成的。




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2.He Knows the Answer 他知道答案
    Teacher: Can you tell me anything about the great scientists of the 18th century?
    Pupil: Yes, sir, I can. They are all dead.
    教師:你能告訴我一些有關十八世紀的偉大科學家的事情嗎?
   學生:我能,先生。他們都死了。

3.Where do babies come from? 小孩從哪裡來?
   I asked my father where babies come from.
  He says you download them from the Internet.
    我問爸爸小孩是從哪裡來的,他說是從網上下載的。

4.An Essential Correction 實質性的糾正
    Teacher: Walter, why don’t you wash your face? I can see what you had for breakfast this morning.
  Walter:  What was it?
  Teacher: Eggs.
  Walter:  Wrong, teacher. That was yesterday.
      老 師:沃爾特,你為什麼不洗臉?我看得出你今天早飯吃了什麼。
  沃爾特:我吃了什麼?
  老 師:雞蛋。
  沃爾特:錯了,老師。那是昨天吃的。

5. I Don’t Feel Like Getting into an Argument 我不想爭論
    “Gerald,” asked the teacher, “what is the shape of the earth?”
  “It's round,” answered Gerald.
  “How do you know it's round?” continued the teacher.
  “All right, it’s square then,” he replied, “ I really don't feel like getting into an argument about it!”
    “杰拉爾德,”老師說,“地球是什麼形狀的?”
  “是圓形的,”杰拉爾德回答。
  “你怎麼知道是圓的?”老師繼續問。
  “好,那就是方的吧,”他回答說。 “我真的不想和您爭論這件事!”

6.Three Reasons 三個理由
   Teacher: Bob, give me three reasons why you know the Earth to be round.
     Bob:  Mum says so, Dad says so, and you say so!
     老師:鮑勃,說出三條理由來證實地球是圓的。
     鮑勃:媽媽是這麼說的,爸爸是這麼說的,您也是這麼說的!

7.Who Should be Given the Present? 禮物該給誰?
   A father of five came home with a toy, summoned his children and asked
  which one of them should be given the present, “Who is the most obedient,
  never talks back to mother and does everything he or she is told?” he
  inquired. There was silence and then a chorus of voices: “You play with it,
  Daddy!”
     一個有五個孩子的父親帶著一件玩具回到家裡,把孩子們召集來問這件禮物應該給誰。 “誰最聽話,從不和媽媽頂嘴,讓幹什麼就乾什麼?”他問道。
 大家都不吭聲。過了一會兒,孩子們異口同聲地說:“爸爸,您玩兒吧。” 更多開心更多歡笑就在《n詞酷》! ! !

8.Big Head 大腦袋
    “All the kids make fun of me,” The boy cried to his mother. “They say I
   have a big head.”
  “Don't listen to them,” his mother consoled. “You have a beautiful
   head. Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes.”
  “Where's the shopping bag?”
  “I haven't got one, use your hat.”
    “所有的孩子都拿我取樂,”小男孩哭著跟媽媽說:“他們說我長了一個大腦袋。”
  “別聽他們的,”他媽媽安慰說。 “你的腦袋長得很漂亮。好了,別哭了,
   去到店裡買10磅土豆來。 ”
  “兜子在哪兒呢?” “我沒有兜子——就用你的帽子吧。”

9.To Open the Door 開門
   Leaving my four-year-old son in the house, I ran out to throw something in
  the trash. When I tried to open the door to get back inside, it was locked.
  I knew that insisting that my son open the door would have been resulted
  in an hour-long battle of wills. So in a sad voice, I said, “Oh, too badYou just
  locked yourself in the house.”
  The door opened at once.
    我把四歲的兒子留在屋裡,​​跑出去把垃圾倒在垃圾桶裡。當我回來開門時,
 門被反鎖住了。
  我知道,如果我要堅持讓孩子打開門,不跟他折騰一個多小時是不可能的。
 所以我就用非常傷心地聲音說:“噢,太糟糕了。你把自己鎖在屋裡了。”
  門立刻就打開了。

10.Bedtime Prayers 睡前禱告詞
    Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. “Please God,” she said, “Make
  Naples the capital of Italy.”
  Her mother interrupted and said. “Julie, why do you want God to make
  Naples the capital of Italy?”
  And Julie replied, “Because that’s what I put in my geography exam!”
    朱莉葉在做睡前祈禱。 “禱告上帝。”她說,“讓那不勒斯成為意大利的
  首都吧。讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都吧。 ”
  媽媽打斷她說:“朱莉葉,你為什麼求上帝讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都
 呢? ”
  朱莉葉回答說:“因為我的地理考卷上是這麼寫的。”

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